SUNDAY BEST COMEDIAN AND ACTOR OMID DJALILI . . . IN HIS OWN WORDS

0 Comments | Sunday Herald, The, Nov 4, 2007

I AM MR SATURDAY NIGHT. The BBC have decided to broadcast The Omid Djalili Show on Saturdays. I've been known as this bizarre little Iranian comedian and now I'm being imposed on the mainstream British public.

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO JUGGLE FAMILY LIFE AND CAREER. So I often find myself feeling very tired and defeated and watching Emmerdale.

9/11 AND THE JULY 7 BOMBS MADE ME STEP UP AS A COMEDIAN. I feel able to shed some light on the Middle East psyche and make people understand a bit of why these things happen. I'm trying to make terrorism palatable as a comedic subject, and that's a challenge.

THERE'S LOTS OF STUFF ABOUT SUICIDE BOMBING IN THE SHOW. In America they want people to feel the terror so they can brainwash them into doing other things, but if we are open about it, analyse it, and can laugh at it then hopefully people can feel liberated and not live in fear.

I WAS BORN AND GREW UP IN LONDON but my parents were very involved in the Iranian community.

In fact, I was very ghettoised for my first few years. I didn't actually speak English until I went to nursery school. I remember going there and being confused that no-one spoke the language I did.

THERE HAVE BEEN SOME NASTY THINGS ON MY WEBSITE SAYING I'M A DISGRACE TO IRANIANS but in general I think they are happy to have anyone in the media who represents them. Not that I'm really big on representing. I just want to be a comedian.

I AM A MEMBER OF THE BAHA'I FAITH.

A lot of artists are Baha'is. A tenet in that faith is that your work is worship, it's like a prayer, so you should take it seriously and strive for excellence. That's extremely inspiring. It's like, if you are going to be a comedian then you should be the best comedian you can possibly be.

FROM THE MOMENT I SAID "HELLO" TO GWYNETH PALTROW, (RIGHT) SHE FOUND ME VERY STRANGE. We were filming Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow. I had run out of underwear and couldn't find anything else to wear but my 10-year-old son's swimming trunks. They were very tight, so I kept fiddling with myself, and she came over and said: "Hi, I'm Gwyneth. Why are you doing that?" I explained that I had run out of underwear and that my son's tight trunks were making my balls and penis scrunch up. I remember she said: "Oh, gross."

IN 1989, I WAS IN BERLIN KNOCKING BITS OF THE WALL DOWN. It was a very exciting time when eastern Europe was opening up. I spent five years doing really bizarre experimental theatre in Czechoslovakia.

That's the root from which my comedy comes.

I ONCE PERFORMED IN QATAR IN FRONT OF THE EMIR, PELE AND BILL CLINTON. It was a tsunami benefit. Clinton was the speaker on after me. He said: "It's bad enough not being the president any more, but I'm so far down the pecking order I now have to follow an Iranian comedian."

CAPTAINING CHELSEA IN THE PREMIERSHIP ALL-STARS ON SKY ONE went very badly for me. I had a chance to score, and instead of squaring it to Ruud Gullit to put it away, I went for goal and missed.

Then I had the indignity of Gullit screaming at me.

I WAS RIDING MY MOTORBIKE TO THE BBC WHEN I WAS HIT BY A CAR.

This woman rammed into the back of me and I went flying into the air. She seemed to accelerate towards me, and I remember thinking: "She's seen my act!"

The Omid Djalili Show is on BBC One, Saturdays from November 17. His DVD, No Agenda, Live At The London Palladium, is out on November 26