Football: The Sweeper - How BBC commentator deceived the Nazis

IT IS not, on the face of it, a perfect scenario for radio. A football match so shrouded in fog that the commentator can't see the game. Players who can't see as far as their bootlaces. Conditions so bad that many are not aware that the action is over for 10 minutes after the final whistle. But throw in the Second World War, a need to keep the Nazis misinformed and the Edinburgh derby, and you have the perfect recipe for a rip-roaring play.

The work in question, Playing A Blinder, is based on the New Year's Day match in 1940 between Hibs and Hearts, and will be aired, appropriately enough, on New Year's Day on Radio 4. The play, by the Edinburgh writer Andrew Dallmeyer, pays particular homage to Bob Kingsley, who was at the microphone for the BBC on the day. The corporation was broadcasting the game for soldiers based overseas. Despite setting up a series of runners to let him know what might be happening, Kingsley still had to invent much of the action. And there was plenty, as Hearts won 6-5.

Why, you might wonder, did the fixture go ahead if the weather was so awful? The reason, says football historian, Bob Crampsey, is that although Kingsley asked "very reasonable questions" as to whether the game should be abandoned, they were ignored.

"The reply came that to do so would alert the Germans as to the state of the weather in Edinburgh," Crampsey added. "And that on no account must he mention the weather." He didn't. And we think he got away with it.

THE 10,000th goal in Premiership history is imminent - there have been 9,999 before today - and to mark the occasion William Hill are offering odds on who the scorer will be. Thierry Henry, whose Arsenal side play at West Ham, and Alan Shearer, whose Newcastle host Blackburn at St James' Park, are 14-1 joint favourites among the players. Newcastle are the favourite team, at 9-2, while Blackburn are the outsiders in today's action, at 28-1.

Brian Deane, who scored the first-ever Premiership goal, for Sheffield United in a 2-1 win over Manchester United in 1992, is not given much of a chance. "He has little hope of adding the 10,000th goal to the first," Graham Sharpe, the bookies' spokesman said. "In order for that to happen all the Premiership games on Saturday would have to end goalless, which is a 7,234,851-1 chance, and then he'd have to score first on Sunday, for Leicester at Leeds, at 7-1, making it over fifty million to one."

Sharpe was good enough to refrain from adding: "But then stranger things have happened. Ade Akinbiyi even got on the scoresheet the other week."

THE SWEEPER'S beginners' guide to Japanese: Part II. As any language teacher will tell you, up to 90 per cent of meaningful face- to-face communication can be non-verbal. For the sake of many footballers, thank goodness for that.

With the World Cup in mind, we thought it advisable to clarify a couple of common Japanese gestures that are misunderstood by Westerners. The first is when someone points a finger animatedly at their nose. This does not mean "Are you talking to ME?", as it might on an English football field. And it certainly doesn't mean "Have you got a hanky?" Blowing your nose in public is considered especially rude. It actually signals a simple "me" or "I".

The second gesture is best illustrated by the sketch to the left. Under no circumstances should you become irate or offended if someone does this towards you in Japan. It means either "money" or "OK, that's fine" depending on context. There are no connotations for referees.

To finish this week, we leave you with words, and one of the delightful "Japenglish" catchlines that adorn everything from pencil cases ("Let's take a trip of fantasy and adventure with leaping hearts!") to beer cans ("Fresh taste. Let's make happy day") to football stadiums. The official slogan of the Sapporo Dome, where England meet Argentina reads: "Every feature is intended to assure best play and benefit feverish supporters."

WE HAVE three winners in our Aero competition, who will each be receiving a year's supply of chocolate for their imaginative suggestions about which players and clubs could be used to endorse which appropriate products. Would that a lack of libel restrictions would allow us to print them all. In addition to the ideas suggested in recent weeks by Nicholas Gough, of Swindon, and Andy Hargreaves, of Southampton, who both get the goodies, we can add Bryan Bennion, of Derby, for nominating Danny Bacon, of Macclesfield, and the financial services supplier, egg. "This has got to be better than egg and Chippo," he says. Prizes on their way shortly.

nharris@independent.co.uk

Copyright 2001 Independent Newspapers UK Limited
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.