Holidays: All aboard the love boat

Sunday Mirror, Jul 28, 2002 by DONNA CARTON

I THOUGHT we'd be Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly on the boat True Love..in fact we were more Humphrey Bogart and Catherine Hepburn on the African Queen - snappy, accident prone and pretty bad sailors.

At first that is.

Following quite a bit of tetchiness, name-calling and blame allocation, terror gave way to confidence (of sorts) and bad temper was banished.

By the week's end, we'd got into the way of it. Serenity replaced anxiety and relaxed enjoyment was ours.

We were aboard the cruiser "Carrandoe" for a week on the beautiful Lough Derg and river Shannon.

When Emerald Star line presented us with our craft, it was like being told to have a run around on the QE2 for a few days.

We were panic stricken. Didn't they know we were virgin boatsters? I wondered if I should confess we once got into serious difficulties on a punt on the Thames at Oxford.

I resisted and they gave us the keys, a brief lesson, a chart, binoculars and, thankfully, a mobile phone that could connect to bases up and down the river.

Then they bade us bon voyage and let us go off by ourselves in their beautiful, expensive, boat.

Accommodation on these craft is surprisingly luxurious. The Carrandoe was spacious and comfortable with two double cabins, a lovely living area that could double as a sleeping space, a small kitchen, two toilets and two showers.

Like, I'm sure, many before and after us, we took the helm with great excitement and greater fear.

We left the Portumna Emerald Star base, on June 10, 2000, at the northern tip of Lough Derg like learners drivers who'd stolen their dad's brand new BMW.

Then, to add to our nerves, we had to wait out a storm in Portumna before setting off.

The vast lake - 40km long and 18km wide - lay before us, as choppy and terrifying as the Atlantic.

Then, after a lovely lunch in the Ferry Inn and a great deal of argument about whether or not it we safe to set off, we did just that.

It was rough and not a little scary - but Laurel and Hardy had nothing on our routine.

Having been told not to venture far in the wind, we headed for Terryglass - a twenty minute journey that took us three quarters of an hour.

The turn off on the chart looked simple enough. In the wide open and choppy waters it was less so.

We got a little lost but event- ually found the historic village. It was four days before we discovered that the markers on the Lough are numbered for easier navigation!

Alas, the relief of finding our port in the storm was short-lived - we had to attempt our first mooring.

I was at the helm and confess to complete panic. We holed and sunk our dinghy, lost our oars and our tempers but eventually we made dry land without loss of life. We even remembered to tie the boat up with our best approximation of a sailor's knot before pub time.

Terryglass, or Tir Dha Ghlas - The Land of the Two Streams, was an idyllic first stop on our week- long, southward journey.

We had dinner at the fabulous Derg Inn with Eamon de Staffort, from the Shannon Development Association, who came to wish us a lovely trip.

And, without a doubt, it was. Terryglass was the first of a long line of beautiful, historic villages or towns and the Derg Inn the first of many fine pubs and superb food.

The pattern for the week was established - boating and walking by day, restaurants and pubs by night.

On day two we headed nervously out onto the Lough again. The weather was a little calmer but our navigational skills still left much to be desired.

Having, we thought, meticulously charted our route, we missed again. Thinking we'd turned towards Garrykennedy Harbour, we arrived instead at the mouth of the Scarrif River.

So we travelled along it for a bit - a small serene oasis in the middle of the rough Lough - stopped for lunch at a quaint little mooring point and then tried again.

Perserverance paid off. It took us hours, but we got there.

In front of us was a picturesque harbour, framed by the remains of an old fort - and yet another nerve-wracking mooring.

There was plenty of time to enjoy the scenery and end the day with a great dinner in Harkin's Thatch Pub, overlooking the lough.

And so the week progressed. All sense of time and the outside world vanished as we concentrated on the boat, our charts, the beauty of our surroundings and the sheer escapist nature of it all.

We wound our way slowly down the lough to Killaloe-Ballina. A huge swell unsettled the nerves again but, rounding Parker Point, past Sally Island, calm returned and tranquility was ours again.

We stayed an extra night in Killaloe to wait out a storm and by then the gods looked favourably on us, granting us that Irish summer rarity - a hot, blue-skied, sun drenched day.

We went all the way back up the lough to Terryglass and the next day headed on to Portumna again and then the Shannon River.

The sheltered, narrow calm of the river is a dramatic contrast to the lough and, for me, a welcome one. The next few days were a blissful, slow cruise amidst scenic Ireland, viewed from a whole new angle.