STAR PRESENTS: CELEBS' CRAP GIFTS

0 Comments | Sunday Mirror, Dec 14, 2003 | by Marcia Moody

GEORGE CLOONEY

Sentimental George's favourite was the family's old banger. 'One year, my dad gave me the 1959 Corvette he got when he met my mum - he bought it because he was trying to impress her, but it didn't run. I used to call it "the gift that keeps on taking".'

Should have been given: A stick - to beat off all those women.

KYLIE MINOGUE

Kylie says she hasn't always been a style icon. 'My worst present was when I was 17 and my grandmother gave me slippers with Bugs Bunny on them. I was so offended. I just wanted to look cool but, of course, I pretended to appreciate them and wore them round the house.'

Should have been given: A love-rat radar - it would have saved her a lot of grief.

GRAHAM NORTON

Graham reckons his mate needs a few pointers when it comes to taste in gifts. 'My worst pressie must be

a test tube of coloured sand. I have no idea where it's from or what I'm meant to do with it. I mean, it's hardly gonna shore up the porch if the Thames floods is it?'

Should have been given: Some soap and water to wash his mouth out.

CHARLOTTE CHURCH

The Welsh warbler has wacky tastes. 'My best Christmas present was a lizard called Iggy. He's a serious lizard - a water dragon - really gorgeous. I'll probably get him some crickets and locusts for Christmas.' Yum.

Should have been given: A normal childhood.

EMMA BUNTON

Emma reckons her nan is the worst culprit around the festive season. 'My worst present was an ugly lamp decorated with artificial flowers. When my nan came to see me I put it on the table in my room, but after she left I hid it in the wardrobe.'

Should have been given: Singing lessons.

JENNY FROST

Atomic Kitten Jenny's worst pressie was novelty Christmas tree earrings. 'My granny is an adorable lady, but she shops in those places where you buy the most useless things. She decided to give them to me early because she thought I might want to wear them out to show my friends.'

Should have been given:

A lifetime supply of St Tropez.

NICKY BYRNE

Nicky from Westlife says, 'When I was 12, I was going out with a girl and bought her a silver ring that cost pounds 8 - a lot of money then. She gave me a selection box, which can be a great present, but I wasn't very pleased.'

Should have been given: Westlife have had enough hits, time for his retirement-style carriage clock.

NICOLAS CAGE

One Christmas Eve, the head fell off one of Nic's toys and his dad planted it in the ground. He says, 'The next morning, there was a giant wooden Pinocchio growing out of the ground. After that, I was planting all my toy cars hoping the same thing would happen.' It seems Cage Sr has got a lot to answer for.

Should have been given: Therapy.

GEENA DAVIS

Hollywood stars aren't known for their conventional tastes - Geena says, 'My best Christmas present was a donkey. I was in Malta shooting Cutthroat Island and there was this adorable little donkey in some of the scenes. I just fell in love with him.' Wonder what happened to him when she flew back to Tinseltown?

Should have been

given: A decent

script - she hasn't

had a hit for ages.

ELTON JOHN

Obviously, Elt's family hadn't quite cottoned on to his extravagant tastes, and bombarded him with Airfix kits. 'I hated to be given models of planes that I had to build. I understood absolutely nothing about them.' Now, maybe if they had been models of stretch limos...

Should have been given: Vases. Lots of vases.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Brit's just a simple family girl at heart. 'My best present was a ring I got one year. My brother and sister got the same one, and the worst was socks from my granny.' Good to hear that even pop princesses aren't immune to the curse of the sock.

Should have been given: A gag. To spare us more of her saucy revelations.