Holidays: Bed and bawd..

Sunday Mirror, Feb 6, 2005 by GILL WILLIAMS

LAST year they swung from the chandeliers and sipped champagne in the boudoirs of France. Now the racy inspectors from the Room for Romance guides are back on this side of the Channel to peep into some of the most romantic rooms at hotels in Britain and Ireland. They bounced on mattresses, checked the ceiling for mirrors, and wardrobes for hidden cameras. They tell all in the new Rooms for Romance (www.room4romance.com). Here's a preview from GILL WILLIAMS...

WHITE HOUSE MANOR, CHESHIRE

TURN up the heat when you book the Millennium room at White House Manor, described by Room for Romance as a "21st Century harem for two". The room has a glass bed (ouch) and a private Turkish steam room where you can play at sultans and slave girls. Other naughtily- themed rooms include the Crystal bedroom with a chandelier for swinging, the Aphrodite room, dedicated to the goddess of love, and the Coach House, which has a private entrance if you're with someone you shouldn't be.

DINNER FOR TWO: Sex on a plate dishes such as sauted foie gras on watercress and orange salad. The melting chocolate fondant is recommended by the inspectors, who soon will be too portly to even contemplate nights of unbridled passion. Dinner starts from around pounds 27

THE COST OF LOVE: From EUR60pp per night when two share at the White House Manor, The Village, Prestbury, Cheshire, SK10 4HP (0044 162 582 9376 or www. thewhitehouse.co.uk).

LANGTRY MANOR, BOURNEMOUTH

LILLIE would have approved of the heart-shaped jacuzzi in her room at Langtry Manor in Bournemouth. The hotel was built back in 1877 by the future King Edward VII for assignations with his theatrical mistress. The Lillie Langtry Room has - as you would expect - a four-poster, richly draped for royal romps. There's a romantic balcony where HRH and his bit on the side would play Romeo and Juliet. "Expect a flower on your pillow, champagne cocktails, bedside chocolate and treats," says the book. The dining room has a minstrel's gallery for serenades and a peephole in the wall if you'd rather watch than take part.

DINNER FOR TWO: From around pounds 45. On Saturdays the hotel replicates a six-course Edwardian feast served by waitresses in mop caps.

THE COST OF LOVE: B&B from around pounds 115pp per night. The Lillie Langtry suite costs pounds 140pp per night. Call 0044 120 255 3887 or see www.langtrymanor.co.uk

RIBER HALL, DERBYSHIRE

THE guest book at Riber Hall in Derbyshire is enough to raise the eyebrows of even the most hardened undercover inspector. "References to handcuffs, steamy sessions in a four-poster and a lover who put her foot through the wooden headboard has us blushing," the guide admits. Sting, with his fondness for Tantric sex, is a regular at this 16th Century manor with its period furnishings and whirlpool baths. Start the heavy breathing with a cuddle in the gardens, far away from prying eyes. Then scuttle back to your room where staff will happily slip a hot water bottle under the covers for you, "though we trust passion renders this unnecessary," the book adds.

DINNER FOR TWO: Described in Rooms for Romance as "pure gastroporn". Three-course dinner from around pounds 55 and an award- winning wine list.

THE COST OF LOVE: Rooms start from pounds 105pp per night when two share. Riber Hall, Matlock, Derbyshire DE4 5JU (0044 162 958 2795 or www.riber-hall.co.uk).

CROMLIX HOUSE, SCOTLAND

LET down your hair in the Rapunzel-style Upper Turret room at Cromlix House, a country manor near Kinbuck. The roll-top bath in the turret is "big enough for three" and "the suites are vast enough for some playful hide and seek before tumbling into the outsize canopied brass beds," according to the guide. The grand Victorian mansion in the countryside near Dunblane and Stirling is a favourite hideaway for celebs, ranging from Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson through to Eddie Izzard - who vaguely conformed to the dress code. The pretty private chapel is popular for weddings.

DINNER FOR TWO: Dress up in your finery for a candelit dinner in the grand restaurant or request a private dining room for two. Dinner from around pounds 45 a head.

THE COST OF LOVE: B&B from pounds 180pp at Cromlix House, Kinbuck by Dunblane near Stirling FK15 9JT (0044 178 682 2125 or www.cromlixhouse.com).

BABINGTON HOUSE, SOMERSET

A BEDSIDE pot of Raging Bull massage oil is provided when you book a naughty room at Babington House in Somerset. If you need a few tips, book the side- by-side massage in the hotel's Mongolian yurt. Or play milkmaids and stable boys in the Cowshed spa. The hotel where Zoe Ball and Fat Boy Slim tied the knot has enormous beds piled high with pillows. There's a grown-ups-only Martini bar "and bathrooms just made for playtime with party showers, huge sunken or free standing baths and oodles of bubbles," oozes the guide.

DINNER FOR TWO: Share a wood oven-baked pizza or nibble Iranian caviar. Three-course dinner from around pounds 54 per head. Pizzas from pounds 15.

THE COST OF LOVE: Late deals take the cost down to around pounds 140pp when two share but normal room rates start from pounds 160pp. Babington House is at Babington, near Frome, Somerset BA11 3RW (0044 137 381 2266 or www.babingtonhouse.co.uk).