ASK THE EXPERTS: Sex & health solutions

Sunday Mirror, May 1, 2005 by Edited by: Lynne Michelle.

THIS WEEKS EXPERTS...

Dr Roger Henderson, from NetDoctor.co.uks online GP service, is a GP & occupational health expert

Paula Hall is a relationships therapist for Relate and has her own private practice. Visit www.sextherapyonline.org

Beechy Colclough is a psychotherapist to the stars and runs his own practice

Jacqueline Young is a complementary medicine specialist and runs Londons Healthcheck Clinic

Prostitute AIDS fear

QIm a 32-year-old man and seven years ago I was stupid enough to have unprotected sex with a prostitute. I feel totally healthy, but the worry Ive caught AIDS is still playing on my mind. Would I know by now if I had?

AYes probably, although HIV infection can go unnoticed for many years. Large numbers of men have found themselves in the same position as you, and are known in the medical profession as worried well patients, the vast majority of whom are clear of infection. However, the only guaranteed way of knowing whether you have contracted HIV is to have an AIDS test, where a simple blood test shows up the presence of HIV infection or not. If you feel too embarrassed to discuss this with your doctor, you can attend a local sexual health clinic which will provide counselling and advice about whether or not you should have the test, as it can have implications for things such as life insurance and mortgages. RH

Eczema relief

QI have suffered from eczema since I was a child. Im concerned about the long-term effects of using steroid creams are there any alternative remedies you can suggest?

AEssential fatty acids are effective in relieving the dry, itchy skin caused by eczema. Get them by increasing your intake of oily fish, such as salmon, mackerel and sardines (organic is best), and linseeds grind up 1-2 tbsp daily and add to breakfast cereal. Alternatively, take these in capsule form. Try Lamberts Flaxseed 1000mg, pounds 8.95, and Biocare Mega EPA Fish Oil, pounds 13.25, both from Revital (call 0800 252875), or strawberry-flavoured Linatox Oil, pounds 7.95, from Cedar Health (call 0161 483 1235). A major cause of eczema is food intolerance. You can have this checked out with the Food Allergy Cellular Test, a blood test for more than 250 foods (for details, send an sae to Health Systems, PO Box 2211 Barnet, Herts EN5 4QW). It costs pounds 245, but its the most accurate test available. JY

Am I gay?

QIm a normal 14-year-old boy, but when I masturbate, I fantasise about men, hardly ever girls. Is this normal, or am I gay? Please help I really dont want to be gay.

AFirstly, I want to reassure you that you are normal. Whether youre straight, gay or bisexual, youre still normal. Few of us are 100% gay or straight most of us are somewhere in between. Though one person might call themselves straight, they may have more gay tendencies than someone else who calls themselves straight. Wherever you are within that range, you are totally normal. At your age, many boys and girls fantasise about same-sex relationships. Your body and mind are going through a huge biological upheaval and it will take some time before you settle into a familiar pattern. Its important you try not to worry about the many different fantasies that may go through your mind. However, I know that may be easier to say than actually do, and if you continue to struggle, then I would recommend you speak to someone you trust, maybe a parent, teacher or friend. If theres no one around for you, then you can call Childline on 0800 1111 and one of their trained counsellors will help you. PH

Q I suffer from extremely sweaty feet, and people in my office tell me they can even smell them when Ive got my shoes on. What can I do about this?

AThis is a common problem, often linked to wearing the wrong socks or footwear. Throw out all your nylon socks and replace them with ones that are at least 70% wool, ensuring they are not too tight. Wear clean socks every day, and wash them on a hot cycle, rinsing them afterwards in diluted antiseptic. Wear all-leather shoes and avoid wearing trainers if you can these are usually synthetic and warm, ideal conditions for smelly feet. You might also want to buy washable insoles, and wash these regularly. Check the soles of your feet for hard skin this is dead skin that can become soggy, which bacteria love. Remove it with a pumice stone, bathe your feet in warm water with tea-tree oil added to it, and dry your feet thoroughly. Try wiping your feet with surgical spirit every day, but stop this if it irritates your skin. If you have a fungal infection such as athletes foot, the skin between your toes will look red and soggy use an anti-fungal foot spray. If your problem persists, see your GP. RH

Partner works too hard

QMy partner works long hours and often I dont see him until he climbs into bed. At weekends hes too tired to spend quality time with me. I love him, but I feel so alone. How can I get him to put me first for once?

AThis is a difficult situation because its caused by your partner being tired, not because hes off doing things with other people. You need to be realistic as to what changes can be made. Is he able to work fewer hours? Can you help him free up more quality time? It might help to make plans for the weekend, like going to the cinema, rather than getting to the weekend and there being no motivation to go out. Write a list of what you want and think through practical solutions for instance, if he works fewer hours and earns less money, discuss how you can economise. Also ask him if he is happy working as hard as he does now. He may be feeling so tired because he is fed up and stuck in a rut. Speak to him and find a way forward. There will be one if you try hard enough to find it. BC