HOW DO I SATISFY NEW MAN IN BED?

0 Comments | Sunday Mirror, Jan 15, 2006 | by DR Catherine Hood

Dear Dr Cath

MY husband and I divorced six years ago after a very turbulent marriage. It took me a long time to get over the shock of being on my own and for the first couple of years the idea of dating anyone was terrifying.

But three months ago I met a man who is a bit older than me and very kind and caring.

The trouble is sex. My husband was my first lover and I've never really learnt much about sexual technique. I guess I'm a bit naive.

My new boyfriend and I have an active sex life and he never complains but I feel so awkward and clumsy. I'm so worried I'm beginning to avoid having sex with him and fear he'll get fed up and leave me. Please tell me how I can ensure he has a good time in bed.

DIVORCE can really knock your confidence. It can take a long time to trust anyone, especially another man. And it seems that could be the trouble now. Your new man says he's enjoying sex with you but you don't want to believe him

Most people are nervous when they start having sex with a new partner - men included.

Sex with each new partner will always be different so you don't have to worry too much about having a set technique. All you need is an open mind and also a willingness to experiment.

Sounds simple, but you need to have sexual confidence to feel comfortable about being so open and that is what you are lacking.

First you have to learn to relax and be at ease with yourself. Find some time alone when you won't be disturbed. Put some calm music on the stereo, lie on the bed and relax. Clench the muscles in your legs then your arms, one by one, and let them go. Combine this with deep breathing. Breathe in when you clench, out when you relax.

Next spend time getting to know your body and what turns you on. Use your hands or a vibrator. Find the sexy woman inside you and this will help to give you confidence when you're with your man.

Then when it comes to knowing what he likes remember he is the expert. Touch him where you feel is right and watch his response.

If you're still not sure how best to please him then ask him what he likes.

It can be difficult to ask these questions at first but if you make talking a part of your love-making then the embarrassment soon goes. You'll be setting up a good foundation on which to build an exciting and satisfying sex life.