Eddie Murphy? A Beverly Hills C**k

0 Comments | Sunday Mirror, Jul 15, 2007 | by SEANHAMILTON Showbiz Editor

VICTORIA is already making an impact on Hollywood - branding Eddie Murphy "Beverly Hills C**k".

Clearly defending fellow Spice Girl Mel B, who fought a bitter paternity battle with the Beverly Hills Cop actor, she made the comment after tracking down internet gossip columnist Perez Hilton.

Asked whether there was anyone she didn't like, she snaps: "Eddie Murphy," before adding: "Beverly Hills C**k."

Murphy was eventually proved to be the father of Mel's three- month-old daughter Angel Iris, after a DNA test.

In the show Posh bakes an apple pie and tells her assistant: "I'd spit in Eddie Murphy's food, definitely."

Posh says that Jennifer Lopez is "major" - her favourite compliment - and adds "she's got a very good sense of humour".

She says Tom Cruise has NOT tried to get her into Scientology. "I know a bit about Scientology," she says. "But he hasn't tried to convert me. I would love to say, 'Yes, he has'. But you would love him."

She set out to find Perez after he was malicious about Posh's pictures on his website. She is worried about the effect his site will have on her reputation so decided on a personal confrontation.

"Perez Hilton has this website where he basically just talks about celebrities. He gets five-and-ahalf million hits a day," she says.

"I thought, 'I am going to hunt you down and I am going to search that bad boy out'."

Victoria surprises Hilton at the LA coffee shop where he works. When he says he described her as looking like "an alien with big boobs", she says: "My boobs are not that big in the flesh." Hilton takes the opportunity to check for himself, although he sounds more interested in her husband.

He also asks what she thinks of his namesake, Paris Hilton. Victoria says: "There are a few girls around here that go out without knickers on. She wears some nice clothes, but other than that I don't know much about her."

LA photographers were tipped off about the coffee shop visit and crowded around the doorway outside waiting for Victoria to leave.

"I don't want to ruin my image," she tells Hilton. "I don't want to be seen smiling, having fun or eating. Perish the thought."

When he offers her a cookie, Posh, who also says in the documentary that she would "not let animal products in her temple", joked: "I can't be seen to actually eat."

After the so-called confrontation, she confesses: "I hate the fact that I actually thought he was alright. He actually made me laugh."

GETTING DRUNK WITH MRS TRUMP

THE PARTY

A DELIVERY man drops off an invitation for lunch from neighbour Suzanne Hughes of the Beverly Hills Socialites Welcoming Committee...

"This is so American," says Victoria. "I have seen Desperate Housewives. I want to make some friends so I am going to go."

Walking into the elaborate mansion down the street, Posh is met by a group of ageing designer blondes. "I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, pass out or get on the next flight home," she says as the women swoop on her. "The lipstick was just major, major red lipstick. I have never seen lipstick like it."

Among the women is Marla Maples, ex-wife of New York property mogul Donald Trump, who says: "We are really excited about you being here."

A guest in a powder-blue suit tries to impress by making a high- pitched "dolphin call", telling Victoria: "It means welcome to LA."

"That's fantastic," says Posh, almost speechless for a change.

But when the talk gets on to the amount of money her husband is being paid to come to America, Victoria gets "itchy."

"I never, ever talk about money, so when the ladies started talking about money I got uncomfortable," she says. "I thought, 'There is only one way to go. Let's get them all drunk'."

After downing shots with the women, who get wilder and louder with every glass, she adds: "I don't know if this is normal American behaviour, but it's great. When I'm older, I hope that I am like that."

Driving home, Posh's personal assistant tells her giggly boss that she's drunk. Victoria doesn't argue.

THE EARTH MOVES WITHOUT DAVID..

THE QUAKE

AS part of her efforts to get acquainted with her new home, Victoria seeks the advice of an earthquake specialist - and experiences a realistic tremor in the world's largest quake simulator.

The expert arrives at Posh's house to give instructions on how to "duck, cover and hold" during a quake and tells Victoria her best bet is to hide under the living room table if the ground starts shaking. "In England we have no idea what an earthquake is," she says. "I would never have moved to LA if I knew this kind of thing went on."

Crammed under the table with hair stylist Ben and make-up artist Marie-Louise, she jokes: "Can anyone see my knickers?"

Handed a poncho from an emergency ear thquake backpack kit, Posh looks appalled. "I couldn't wear that!" she says.

She's happier with the expert's tip to have a pair of shoes ready by the bed in case of a quake...as long as they are heels.

"I can run in very high heels," she says. "I'm just not myself in flats! It might be more sensible but it's about posture even in an earthquake. Always keep shoes by the bed, preferably nice ones because the emergency services may be on their way and you want to be looking good."