On top of the Wold

AFRIEND of mine once complained to her country hostess about the strange high-pitched noises that woke her at dawn.

Her landlady thought for a moment, then remembered that my pal lives in London.

"Those are birds, dear," she explained patiently. Yep, if you think you're in for a quiet time in the Cotswolds, forget it.

There are insects humming in the hedgerows, cows mooing in fields - and that ultimate inconsiderate neighbour, the rooster crowing in the barnyard. Then there's all that constant honking...of geese, not cars.

But look on the bright side - if you do wake up at dawn, you'll have more time to linger over a country breakfast of Cotswold honey, homemade jams, hot bread and fresh eggs.

All these goodies - and a welcome bottle of plonk - were waiting in a hamper when we arrived reeling from M4 hell at Maltsters Cot tage in Milton under Wychwood, Oxfordshire.

The living room has a fireplace big enough to roast an ox - useful if they keep up that mooing. The fire was laid ready for our arrival... just strike a match for instant cosiness.

The 18th Century walls are held up by low, smoke-darkened beams. People were shorter 300 years ago and I have the bumps to prove it.

An enormous open plan dining room leads to a kitchen where you might expect to see Delia whipping up a souffle. There were only four of us, but eight could have comfortably fitted around the Victorian rectory table. A break in the Cotswolds is just what you need if you've forgotten what a sparrow sounds like.

It's English countryside straight out of a Jilly Cooper aga saga, with rolling hills and villages of pale stone and pubs which still have tankards behind the bar.

A holiday in the countryside makes good sense this summer as the powerful euro puts a serious dent in family budgets. And you'll be welcomed with open arms in the Cotswolds, where the people who make their living from B&Bs, cottage rentals, shops and tearooms are struggling to recover from the disastrous summer last year. While this summer isn't shaping up too well either, there's plenty to do here, whatever the weather.

Our first stop with the kids was Bourton on the Water in Gloucestershire. The village calls itself the Venice of the Cotswolds because of its six pretty bridges.

The kids made a beeline for the model railway museum, where young train drivers get to press buttons that operate the trains - if they can elbow their dads out of the way.

Then we took our fledglings to nearby Birdland Park & Gardens. There are more than 500 birds in this aviary, from the only colony of king penguins in Britain to falcons, hornbills and toucans. If the kids have any energy to spare, run them ragged around the Dragon Fly Maze, on the same street.

End your visit with a stop at Bour ton's Green Living shop which sells every type of eco-friendly product from organic nosh to flowery bath products. Burford is another classic white stone village, back in Oxfordshire. The country pursuit shops do a roaring trade in wellies and wax jackets. It's worth a visit just for the dreamy almond macaroons at Huffins Bakery.

Nearby Stow on the Wold has great shops - there are probably more gift shops here than anywhere in England, along with what claims to be the oldest pub. This one, the owners insist, was built before the Norman Conquest.

The Cotswolds ticks most boxes for a family break - cosy cottages, pubs with pints that would bring joy to a real-ale inspector, and plenty of shops for Mum.

And with any luck, your townie kids will learn to distinguish a starling from a siren.

What's the deal?

MALTSTERS sleeps eight. A three-night stay starts from pounds 386 total. Visit Rural Retreats at www.ruralretreats.co.uk or call 01386 701177.

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