Ruling leaves gay couples at the altar

0 Comments | Oakland Tribune, Mar 13, 2004 | by Lisa Leff, Associated Press

SAN FRANCISCO -- The end of the monthlong experiment in civic independence that turned City Hall into a festive wedding chapel for about 4,000 gay and lesbian couples left many would-be newlyweds feeling confused, disappointed and defiant Friday.

More than 2,700 same-sex couples with appointments to get married were left at the altar when the California Supreme Court halted San Francisco's wedding march. Many of them had spent considerable money on travel, hotels, flowers and other wedding preparations.

"It's a tremendous disappointment," said Margaret Barnett, 60, of El Cajon in San Diego County, who flew up with Jane Venghaus, 56, her partner of 22 years, only to be turned away at City Hall on Friday.

"Our friends want to marry us in a mock ceremony and try to cheer us up," said Barnett, who only managed to secure an appointment after calling every 10 minutes for two days before getting through to the clerk's office. "I'm too disappointed to think about it."

The nonstop nuptials slammed to a halt at City Hall minutes after the seven California Supreme Court justices reached their unanimous decision across the street in Chief Justice Ronald M. George's chambers.

Some were caught in a particularly poignant limbo -- they got licenses and exchanged their vows, only to discover that they would not be allowed to officially record their marriages. Others learned the bad news when they showed up to apply for their licenses.

Relatives in tow and wearing lace, Jeanne Rizzo and Pali Cooper arrived just as a clerk posted this sign: "March 11, 2004 -- 2:33 p.m. Effective immediately, by order of the California Supreme Court, the San Francisco County Clerk has been ordered to discontinue issuance of same-sex marriage licenses."

"The clerk was as sad as we were," said a teary-eyed Rizzo, who has been with Cooper for 15 years.

On Friday, Rizzo and Cooper were among six gay and lesbian couples joining in a constitutional challenge filed by the National Center for Lesbian Rights, the American Civil Liberties Union and Lamda Legal.

That lawsuit, and another filed Thursday night by the city, will work their way up through the courts separately as the state's Supreme Court considers the more narrow question of whether city officials had the power to contravene state laws.

City Assessor Mabel Teng performed more than 300 of the approximately 4,000 marriages herself since Mayor Gavin Newsom gave the go-ahead to the weddings Feb. 12. Her office also was responsible for recording the licenses and she said she was overwhelmed by the flowers and cards she had received in support.

Newsom said Thursday that the city had married 4,161 same-sex couples. But Teng's office said Friday that this number reflected confusion over some names that could be construed as either male or female -- the actual number, the office said, was slightly lower, somewhere between 3,940 and 4,008.

"This is the first time in my political experience that I got so much positive feedback," Teng said. "After I married a couple, I said, 'City Hall is the happiest place on Earth."

But on Friday, County Clerk Nancy Alfaro's staff had the unhappy task of e-mailing and calling the same-sex couples who had booked marriage appointments to tell them about the latest developments.

Newsom urged the gay and lesbian couples to take heart that the city hasn't dropped its fight.

"I look forward to those 2,600-plus people coming back to San Francisco after we make our strong case before the Supreme Court," said Newsom, speaking above the grand staircase that had been the noisy backdrop for the weddings and now stood empty and quiet for the first time in weeks.

One of the couples who missed the chance to marry by minutes, Ross Ladouceur and Stuart Sanders, became the center of attention later Thursday night as about 200 people marched from the city's gay hub Castro District, carrying candles, wedding certificates and rainbow flags under a police escort. Hundreds more joined the demonstration outside the building where the Supreme Court meets.

The couple, still dressed in matching tuxedos and floral leis, were exhorted to go ahead and recite the vows they hadn't been allowed to say earlier. "It's not everybody who gets married by a mob in San Francisco," quipped Sanders.

Olivia Cochran, 52, and Joan Etherton, 50, bought special dresses, got their hair done and picked up flowers before they left Los Angeles, driving half the night. They heard the bad news on the radio, and briefly considered turning around.

"We decided to come up anyway because we were both in shock. We were dazed and confused," said Etherton, who works as a grief therapist for kids. "I teach my children how to look at the bright side. The bright side here is we are in San Francisco, and it's beautiful."

Jennifer Bolton, 34, and Vivian Right, 37, drove up from Las Vegas, along with their two daughters, Bolton's parents and two other friends, for their planned Friday morning wedding. They heard the bad news on television just before setting off, but decided to make the trip anyway.