Shaq makes playoffs enjoyable

0 Comments | Oakland Tribune, May 4, 2005 | by David Schoen, STAFF WRITER

THERE IS ONLY one reason to watch the NBA playoffs this spring, and it's not to see whether Tom Tolbert or Craig Sager dons the gaudiest suit.

When the Heat is out, I'm out.

After Shaquille O'Neal's ouster from Los Angeles last year, the criticism about his weight and the Lakers' subsequent flop this season, nothing would be better than to see the Diesel lift another championship trophy over his head and get the last laugh on Kobe Bryant.

And I mean nothing.

The NBA playoffs is void of any compelling storylines this spring other than the Heat and Shaq.

The Pistons have a shot at earning back-to-back titles, but they're just miniBad Boys. Maybe if Rick Mahorn or Bill Laimbeer came out of retirement, I'd watch.

It's Reggie Miller's last chance to bring a championship to Indiana, but Ashton Kuchar and Demi Moore will break up before that happens.

Allen Iverson is sooooo three years ago, Yaogate will be forgotten as soon as the Rockets-Mavericks series is over, and even though I really like Tim Duncan, waiting in line at the bank is more enjoyable than watching the Spurs.

The Sonics? I challenge anybody outside of Seattle who doesn't play fantasy hoops to name anybody on that team other than Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis.

The only team that is mildly intriguing is the Suns, and that's due to their style of play. North American players supposedly can't shoot, but they sure can run, and the Suns have utilized their talent brilliantly in that regard, providing a much-needed jolt to the plodding NBA in the process.

Still, Amare Stoudemire and Steve Nash are no match for Shaq and Dwyane Wade in the entertainment department.

Wade is the most underrated player in the league -- stunning now to think that Darko Milicic and Chris Bosh were selected ahead of Wade in 2003 -- and plays the way Kobe can't, or won't.

Even coach Stan Van Gundy, the same guy who was dumped after going 13-14 in his only season as coach at Wisconsin despite having Michael Finley on the roster, is worth watching if only to make fun of his moustache.

Can you imagine having to sit through a championship series involving the Celtics? Now you know why I'm rooting for Shaq and Co.

I think Eskimos are smug

Speaking of bad NBA playoff series,

here is one of my roommates' take on the sad state of affairs in the Eastern Conference:

"I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that the Bulls and Wizards are in the playoffs, or that I'm actually watching them."

Just for comparison's sake, the 4-5 series in the Western Conference is between the Mavericks and Rockets. No contest.

Cellar door

Anybody check out the heavyweight title fight on Saturday between James Toney and John Ruiz? This is why I'm so down on boxing these days.

Toney was so plump he looked like the Michelin man and then spent most of the middle portion of the bout sporting a killer plumber's crack before capturing the WBA championship with a unanimous decision victory.

I rest my case.

Whatsamatta U

This week's letter comes from RaiderRick in Kansas City, Mo.:

"I was wondering if you guys could let us in Raider Nation know if Collins was able to hit any of OUR receivers in minicamp? Thanks."

Could be worse. The Raiders could still have Rusty Hilger or Jay Schroeder, right?

David Schoen can be reached at by e-mail at dschoen@angnewspapers.com.