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Technologically savvy, today's toughs wield computers and cell

Oakland Tribune, Aug 30, 2005 by Candace Murphy, STAFF WRITER

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But experts say even these efforts amount to a Band-Aid at best. Most kids have easy access to computers and cell phones away from school or at home, with little or no parental supervision. Even so- called "Web nanny software," products that are supposed to let parents feel good about allowing their kids to surf the Web unsupervised, don't do much good.

"These products don't help with cyberbullying in the first place," says Brook Larios, of iSAFE America. "But beyond that, we have a stat, too, about kids getting past filters like this. Over 32 percent of kids can get past blocking software. That's nearly one in three! Crazy. I just went online looking for stuff about nanny software and came across a whole forum set up by kids explaining how to get around these filters."

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Parents on the frontline

While organizations like iSAFE and the Center for Safe Internet Use are helping to educate parents and children about cyber- harassment, most emphasis is placed on parent involvement.

Hahn says her parents got involved partly because the computer in their Metuchen, N.J., home was in the family room, where her parents watched television. When Hahn received messages like "Watch your back," and "Don't go to the bathroom alone," and most creepily, "We saw you last night. We're going to kill you," her parents were near enough to realize there was a problem.

"They'd not be over my shoulder, but at least they were in the same room. Even if I wanted to hide the threats, I couldn't have," says Hahn. "I would break down and start crying. My parents really quickly learned what was going on."

The reality, though, is that many kids are alone when they're on the Internet. So Macavinta and others recommend that parents or adults use software to limit who children can communicate with online, talk to them about proper online behavior and explain how to resolve conflicts in person.

If a child is suddenly afraid to go to school or go online, ask why. Let them know they can tell an adult when they feel threatened. And when a child is being bullied online, document every e-mail, every instant message, every threat that comes through cyberspace.

As for kids who are being bullied, they shouldn't respond, but they should report it. They should also protect their privacy and never give out personal information or passwords online.

"It's a terrible thing," says Hahn, who has made cyberbullying her issue, in anticipation of entering the Miss America contest, a pageant that requires each participant to have a platform.

A platform which is for her, quite literally, a bully pulpit.

"Even now, when I'm speaking about it, and I'm crying, telling my story, you have people yawning. Not paying attention. Parents saying, 'Toughen up. You're too sensitive. Kids will be kids,' says Hahn. "And yeah, kids will be kids. But there are degrees. There are higher degrees. It becomes really unsafe."

You can e-mail Candace Murphy at

cmurphy@angnewspapers.com.

Technologically savvy, today's toughs wield computers and cell

Oakland Tribune, Aug 30, 2005 by Candace Murphy, STAFF WRITER

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