Gary Bogue: Newman and the little orange kitten wars

Oakland Tribune, Nov 5, 2008 by Gary Bogue

The rain storm ends but

a colorful shower of

autumn leaves lingers

-- haiku by Gina Drakes, Danville

Cat & kitten wars

I saw this coming.

The first day the little orange kitten trotted across the back deck and peeked in through the sliding glass kitchen door, our 18- pound black Maine coon cat, Newman, charged across the kitchen floor and mashed his nose flat against the glass right where the kitten was standing.

Newman also did that the second and third time the kitten showed up.

Newman is a very slow learner with a very flat nose.

When I was finally able to catch the kitten and bring her into the house, Newman took one look, buried his flat nose in a pillow on the couch and crouched there with his fuzzy black tail lashing the air in a growing cloud of swirling black cat hair.

It was beginning to look like Newman didn't care much for the orange kitten.

DUH!

We rigged a spare bathroom as a temporary "Orange Kitten Condo" for the kitten to stay in when Lois and I aren't home. Toys, food and water, litter box and several places for her to sleep.

Whoever gets home from work first during the week gets to let the kitty out to explore the house "... and to keep a protective eye on Newman. On weekends, she's out pretty much all of the time -- except when she's being a naughty kitten, which as we all know has been known to happen with little kittens from time to time.

You know, little things like climbing up my jeans (OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!), climbing up my jeans (OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!) and climbing up my jeans (OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!).

The first time I let the kitten out to run around the house, I sat down on the couch in the family room and waited for things to happen. Newman was one pillow over from me.

ZIP! The little kitten was sitting on my lap, purring loudly and staring at Newman, who was glaring straight ahead with his ears flat and his tail going thump, thump, thump on the couch pillow.

Oh, yeah, Newman was also growling like a dog.

The kitten suddenly launched herself from my lap (OUCH!) to grab Newman's tail between her front paws "... and then POOF! was gone.

Newman spun around to grab the closest thing he could find by his tail "... OUCH! "... my hand.

Then there was another POOF! and the kitten was chewing on Newman's tail.

Then another POOF! and the kitten was gone again.

Then a THUD, THUD, THUD as Newman stalked out of the room to go hide in his litter box.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll survive this little adventure. I have more scratch marks on my hands than I did when I used to raise mountain lion cubs.

Boy, this sure is fun.

Actually, it is, you know.

Name the kitten contest

This is your last chance to enter my Name Gary's New Orange Kitten Contest. It ends Friday (Nov. 7).

Your e-mail or letter with your suggested name(s) should arrive at the Times in Walnut Creek no later than 5 p.m. Nov. 7. Please include your name and address (e-mail address is OK) with your entry so I can contact you if you win the contest.

To date, more than 800 readers have entered names in this contest. Will we go over 1,000? I think that would be a record in cat names!

The prize for the winning little orange kitten name is a unique autographed collection of five of my books, three of them out of print.

Contest results and the winning name will be in next Tuesday's column Nov. 11.

(POOF! The little orange kitten just purred in my ear that she can hardly wait.)

Find more Gary in his blog at www.ibabuzz.com/garybogue or write Gary, P.O. Box 8099, Walnut Creek, CA 94596-8099; old columns at ContraCostaTimes.com, click on Columns; e-mail garybug@infionline.net.