Spin Cycle: DNA art, cocaine cases and bad food

0 Comments | Oakland Tribune, Jun 6, 2009 | by Joan Morris

Fluffing and folding the news

CSI special

We know finding that perfect Father's Day gift can be tough, so a company called DNA 11 suggests giving dad a colorful rendering of his DNA profile.

You swab your mouth, or that of a loved one, and send it to the company that then extracts the DNA. And quicker than you can ask "Who's the baby daddy?" the canvas art work is hanging on dear old Dad's study wall.

Despite our fears that the DNA may uncover long hidden family secrets, the company's top guy says the DNA rendering reveals nothing specific, which means neither the police nor the plaintiff in a paternity suit should come knocking on your door.

In addition to DNA art, the company also offers lip and fingerprint art for prices ranging from $190 to $1,200.

We're saving our money for the dental X-ray sculptures.

Stupid smart

An alleged cocaine smuggler had a brilliant idea for smuggling two suitcases of cocaine past airport authorities in Santiago, Chile. And when we say brilliant, we naturally mean doomed.

The drugs weren't hidden in the luggage -- they were the luggage. The cocaine had been mixed with resin and glass fiber to create suitcases, which later would have been put through a chemical process to extract the drugs.

Because the suitcases weighed far more than their contents, we're confident if the customs agent hadn't gotten her, the Sky Cap at the airport would have.

Going Dutch

Who would have thought that the most persistent enemy facing Australian troops fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan would be Dutch chefs?

The Aussie soldiers, fighting alongside the Dutch, have complained so loudly about the food that a special team of Australian military cooks have been rushed in to cook for God and country.

Soldiers complained about the freshness, but we suspect a lack of shrimp on the barbie and a daily ration of Fosters just made them cranky.

Spin Cycle takes a quirky view of the daily news and everyday happenings. Reach Joan Morris at 925-977-8479 or jmorris@bay areanewsgroup.com.