Spin Cycle: Collegiate eaus, nettles and sheep

0 Comments | Oakland Tribune, Jun 22, 2009 | by Jackie Burrell

Fluffing and folding the news

Eau no

Forget Chanel No. 5. Ever since we heard about the new Masik line of "Collegiate Fragrances," we've had a hankering to slather ourselves in Eau de Penn State and UNC Cologne. The new ivory tower perfumes are inspired by -- OK, yeah, the desire to make scads of money off something that retails for $60 an itty bitty bottle. But the fragrances are intended to woo alumni pocketbooks by evoking campus landmarks and colors. Hence, the University of North Carolina's green apple and violet scent, and the southern charms of Louisiana State's plum, oak and aromatic golden bourbon.

Hmm, good luck convincing any Louisiana cop that the aroma wafting from your car is perfume. "No sir, that's my eau!"

As for us Californians"... Who wants to smell like Oski? Or Stanford's pine tree and the band's bare feet?

Nettles with that?

Ah, England. Land of tea, crumpets and nettle-eating contests. Seems Dorset is home to the World Nettle Eating Championships, a competition in which otherwise sane people attempt to eat as many nettles as possible in a single hour. This year's winner consumed every blade off 48 feet worth of stalks, despite the tiny needles, coated with boric acid, that cover every jagged leaf. Unpleasant meal? Well, when nettles are cooked, they're supposed to be something of a delicacy. But contestants say served raw, the stinging weeds taste like a cross between "spinach and cowpats" and turn their tongues black, before fermenting in their stomachs and eventually exiting "... one painful way or another.

We can't wait to see what cologne Masik Collegiate Fragrances develops for the University of Dorsetshire.

Sheep thrill

Life is full of disappointments, but we were crushed to learn that the American Sheep Industry press release headlined "ASI Conducting 2009 Sheep Photo Contest" involved neither bovine photographers nor tuxedo-clad sheep with batons. Instead, we discovered, sheepishly, that humans are supposed to snap pics of lambs being sheared and fed and such. Borrrring.

We'd have paid good money for the shear thrill of hearing the Ram Francisco Symphony play a little Johann Sebastian Baaaaach. Wouldn't ewe?

Spin Cycle is a thrice weekly, random riff on daily news and everyday happenings. Contact Jackie Burrell at jburrell@bayareanews group.com.