Klebold's family seeking meeting with family of Columbine victim

Topeka Capital-Journal, The, Jun 3, 1999 by KEVIN VAUGHAN

Scripps Howard News Service

LITTLETON, Colo. -- Tentative discussions are under way for Dylan Klebold's parents to meet with the family of a student who died at Columbine High School.

The talks come in the wake of letters Thomas and Susan Klebold have written to some families of those killed in an attack by their son and his friend, Eric Harris. "There's a big willingness on their part to reach out," said Pastor Don Marxhausen, of St. Philip Lutheran Church. "They are willing to meet with some of the victims' families." The discussions about one such meeting are in an early stage and require careful work, said Marxhausen, the Klebold family's minister. "There's so much hurt -- there's just so much hurt," he said. The Klebolds took the first step by writing at least two letters to families. Marxhausen said he hadn't read the letters and hasn't been told about their contents. However, the Denver Rocky Mountain News has learned that they were letters of condolence and apology. Klebold, 17, and Harris, 18, stormed Columbine during the lunch hour April 20, unleashing bombs and guns on their classmates and teachers. They killed 12 students and a teacher and wounded 21 people before they took their own lives in the school library. Marxhausen said he has had preliminary discussions with a pastor of the student's family. "You can't just jump into that," he said. He said is trying to find a "neutral" counselor who is trained in reconciliation. That person would have to meet with both families ahead of time to make sure they are in the same frame of mind. The two families' ministers -- and maybe their attorneys -- probably would be involved in the meeting, if it happens. That, Marxhausen hopes, would mean the discussion never would be admissible in court. He also is trying to find a private place to meet. "It's not a thing of apology or forgiveness," he said. "It's sort of a first reaching out in their mutual pain in the loss of their children. That's how that would work -- we would hope." Marxhausen said that in his professional opinion more time should be allowed to pass before a meeting is scheduled. It is a double- edged sword, he said, with potential to do a lot of good. "This is a long shot, and you've got to go real slow," he said. "One thing is pulling me -- it's way too soon -- but on the other hand, some people could learn something from this. It would be wonderful if we could do that without tearing the community apart." Thomas and Susan Klebold are in seclusion in the Denver area.