Times change and so do anniversary gifts

Topeka Capital-Journal, The, Oct 18, 2003 by Capital-Journal

What to buy a spouse for an anniversary gift sometimes can be frustrating. Not because we don't want to spend the time shopping for a gift that is special for our partner, but because year after year we want to make the gift special enough for them to not return it.

It used to be that the suggested gift idea for a first anniversary was paper. Probably some guy's idea for ensuring his wife put in writing her birthday and anniversary date for him to remember. Never again would he be chastised for forgetting a special day. To men's chagrin, women began using the paper gift to create the honey-do list.

The powers that be (merchandisers) modernized the suggested gift list and now the first anniversary gift idea is a clock. My theory is that over the years women have become later and later in getting to appointments or family gatherings because of our expanded hair and face primping routines, and men thought that clocks would help us to be on time. Nice try.

The second anniversary gift suggestion was originally paper but now has changed to china. I guess home-cooked meals on paper plates weren't so popular.

Leather used to be the suggested third wedding anniversary gift but that has been updated to crystal or glass. I have no comment on that.

Electrical appliances have replaced fruit, flowers or linen for the fourth anniversary. Bravo. Replace my dozen roses with a toaster and the fourth anniversary certainly will be memorable.

When I read the fifth-year anniversary modernized gift suggestion of silver, I thought to myself, "Now you're talking. Silver, gold, diamonds. Bring on the jewelry." Then I read the rest of the word, "ware."

At least wood could mean a new dining room table. Silverware only means more cooking.

Six years of wedded bliss, if it lasts after the fourth year of electrical appliances, brings us wood instead of the original sugar and sweet. The thought of added poundage from a box of chocolates forced the list makers to give in to the possibility of buying a new dining room table.

The seven-year itch is now supposed to be contained by desk sets rather than wool or copper, the original gift ideas. Sorry, but I'll take a sweater or even new copper pipes over a pencil sharpener.

Eight years of marriage brings us linens and lace versus the old suggested list of bronze and rubber. I have no comment about that either.

We enter the ninth year with a suggested gift of leather. I suggest a leather wallet filled with lots of cash.

It isn't until a decade of marriage that we get into the meat and potatoes of suggested wedding anniversary gifts --- diamonds.

Most years after 10 are precious gems or furs.

Something tells me the list makers got smarter the longer they were married.

Vicki Estes is a Topeka freelance writer. Her column appears on Wednesday and Saturday.

She can be reached at vaestes@sbcglobal.net.