Estes column

Topeka Capital-Journal, The, Feb 13, 2005 by VICKI ESTES Capital-Journal

Men typically purchase about 10 percent of all greeting cards sold each year, except for Valentine's Day when they purchase 17 percent.

"Even if they don't purchase cards any other time of year, they'll purchase valentines for their wives or girlfriends largely because they feel it's expected," said Ramesh Murthy, American Greetings executive director of research.

I wouldn't say it's expected, but it's one of the most inexpensive ways for a guy to say to his gal, "I love you more than anything --- you ARE the rare gem in my life."

When you receive a tearjerker card that moistens your eyes, you tend not to notice the unwrapped box of chocolates he's re- circulating from Christmas. Sentimental Valentine's Day cards are like duck decoys for guys. They lure us in, and we lose sight of the hidden danger.

If men purchase only 17 percent of Valentine's Day cards, that means women are purchasing the remaining 83 percent. Who are we buying cards for? The butcher? The baker? Pretty much everyone except the candlestick maker.

It's our duty to make everyone feel loved on Valentine's Day, especially when we remember the few grade school classmates who did not get as many valentines as the popular kids received. We plan to change the world one Valentine at a time.

Once we've sealed, stamped and mailed the last card, we help our children create cards for daddy, the grandparents and the dog with spare doilies we have daintily packed away in the sewing room and red felt hearts we keep around for emergencies.

Because shopping time is eroded by card making, we end up creating "coupons" for our significant others that are "good for one grass mowing when the temperature is less than 82 degrees" or "coupon entitles you to leave the seat up for a week."

Guys, on the other hand, purchase Valentine's Day cards for their significant others only, and some are more apt to do so by stumbling upon the card aisle while searching for a Slim Jim snack at the neighborhood quick mart.

I'm not saying all guys are like this, because we all know that "one size doesn't fill all," unless it's a pair of red silk boxer shorts emblazoned with the message, "Be Mine," grabbed from a closeout rack next to the Cheez Whiz on Feb. 13 two minutes before the store closes.

We've all received or given similar gifts, because when the pressure is on we believe anything is better than nothing. And since the dog received a valentine, the doghouse won't be so bad for a night.

Vicki Estes is a Topeka freelance writer. Her column appears each Sunday. She can be reached at vaestes@sbcglobal.net.