They're ready to rummmble in S.L. race

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), May 13, 2003 by Doug RobinsonDeseret News columnist

By now you've probably heard about the near-brawl between Rocky "Balboa" Anderson and Frank "I Lift Weights" Pignanelli.

We only heard about it now because they spilled their guts to Deseret News reporter Brady Snyder, who didn't know that when he was assigned to cover the mayor's office he was really taking on the boxing beat.

It turns out Rocko and Pig -- that has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? -- stood nose to nose like a couple of prizefighters at the weigh-in and snarled at each other. And in an underground parking garage, no less.

Never mind what your mother would say about two middle-aged men woofing at each other in a parking garage -- men who are community leaders and politicians. Never mind the dignity of the American election process. Didn't you have the same reaction I did about the upcoming election: Hey, this is going to be fun!?

Let's face it, the election needs some pizazz, and this is definitely a step in the right direction. Imagine what this could do for voter turnout. Can we get Deedee in the mix somewhere, too? Merrill Cook? If it's money they want, I'm in for a hundred; how about you?

Both candidates threw caution to the wind last week and spoke to Snyder on the record about the incident. Most politicians are tight- lipped about such things, of course. Most politicos would've said, "That's all behind us now. It was an unfortunate incident, but we've moved on and now we send each other Christmas cards." Not these guys. They couldn't help themselves, animosity being what it is.

Rocko accused Pig of spreading rumors about him; Pig denied it. They stepped into each other's faces. The background music built to a crescendo as they shouted at each other.

That was about it. Then they went home and thought of snappy comebacks they wish they had said. Now they're both saying they could have knocked the other guy into tomorrow.

And you thought you'd sleep through the election season.

Their campaign managers must have choked on their eggs when they saw that in the paper. I'll bet Rocky and Pig didn't run this business past them first.

It's only May and already the election campaign is heating up. And these guys belong to the same Democratic Party. There's nothing like some genuine hate to get the blood pumping for the campaign. Somebody call Don King. Get Tonya Harding for the undercard and one of Bill Clinton's gal pals. Is Monica free?

Fortunately, they're in the same bantam division, which is convenient. My money is on Rocky. First of all, you've got to love the name. He's also about 5 foot 10, 170 pounds to Pig's 5-7, 180, so give Rocky the edge in height and reach. He's a thin man who, if the Main Street Plaza is any indication, can take a punch or two, at least the verbal kind. He's not easily intimidated.

Both politicians' boxing styles probably will reflect their politics. Pig will try to move right of Rocky, which will make him more popular with voters. Rocky will make a stand, then do a lot of backpedaling. He also can flip-flop like Olga Korbut, which will make him difficult to hit. Of course, he will need to cut back on that bar- hopping business with the media if he's going to get serious about training.

The pre-fight buildup should be fun. Neither one of these guys is afraid of a negative campaign. Rocky pretty much says what's on his mind; Pig tends to tell others what's on his mind and lets them spread the news (hence, the altercation).

Pig -- and that is an unfortunate nickname (some fellow legislators used it on the Hill) -- is a lobbyist and former minority leader of the House. He's not worried about the size disadvantage. "I might be short," he told Snyder, "but I lift weights."

Rocky, by the way, told Snyder he could have taken Pig in "about a half round."

I'm so excited that I'm getting goose bumps. Has anyone called ESPN?

Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. E-mail drob@desnews.com.