Revival of polygamy in Indonesia stirs debate

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Nov 30, 2003 by Ellen Nakashima Washington Post

JAKARTA, Indonesia -- A suspicious cell phone number on the family phone bill tipped off Titin Salpomiatin that her husband, Erlangga, was cheating on her.

When confronted, Erlangga said the woman in question was just a friend. But a year later, he felt he couldn't hide the truth. He told Titin he had taken a second wife and they had a newborn.

"She was furious. She cried. She protested," he recalled.

Erlangga, a personnel manager in a palm oil company who goes by one name, said he argued that the Koran allows him to have up to four wives. Titin recalled accusing him of exploiting the Koran to justify his sexual wandering.

While he has two wives, Titin said, "I don't feel that I have a husband."

Titin and Erlangga, both 46, came of age at a time when the authoritarian government of longtime President Suharto discouraged conservative expressions of Islam. Although polygamy is legal, Suharto, under pressure from his wife, virtually banned civil servants from engaging in the practice in the early 1980s. Indonesia's Islamic and general family codes also set strict conditions for polygamy, including permission from the first wife.

A new liberalism

But today, five years after mass protests forced Suharto out of office, some Muslim activists seek to establish a society that follows traditional, conservative interpretations of the Koran, as well as to bring about Islamic law, or sharia.

High-profile polygamists are extolling the practice. Progressive clerics and feminists are countering with interpretations of the Koran that support equality of the sexes. An official in the religious affairs ministry is drafting an alternative Islamic family code that would outlaw polygamy and make it easier for women to divorce.

The debate is part of a broader struggle to define the role of Islam in Indonesia, which has the world's largest Muslim population.

No government agency accurately tracks polygamy rates. But ministry officials said many more men marry privately, in the presence of a Muslim cleric and witnesses, without seeking permission from an Islamic court, which would require permission from the first wife.

Counselors at women's crisis centers report more women seeking help in dealing with polygamous marriages. The topic is increasingly in the news and debated on talk shows. The vice president, Hamzah Haz, openly acknowledges he has three wives. The minister of cooperatives, Alimarwan Hanan, has two wives. President Megawati Sukarnoputri has not given her views publicly; she herself is the daughter of her father's second wife.

'Polygamy virus'

Eccentric entrepreneur Puspo Wardoyo, who has four wives and owns the popular restaurant chain Ayam Bakar Wong Solo, elevated polygamy to new prominence in July when he staged the first Polygamy Awards. He handed out 90 statuettes and cash prizes to men from across Indonesia who had at least two wives.

"I want to spread the polygamy virus," he said.

"I was very angry," acknowledged Titin, a petite, personable woman, during an interview at a Dunkin' Donuts shop. "But I have to accept this dilemma in order to maintain my children." Erlangga splits his week between Titin and his second wife, Mardiana, in two small houses about four miles apart.

Titin and her friends commiserate with one another about their husbands' use of religion to suit their sexual desires and about how polygamy hurts their children, not just themselves. Titin's 9-year- old daughter often asks where her daddy is, but Titin said she would tell her the truth only when she is older. Her 19-year-old son already knows.

Sense of betrayal

Her sense of betrayal is never far from the surface. "I can accept him but with a lot of question marks and exclamation points and commas -- never a period."

Erlangga said he never expected to have more than one wife, even though his father had three and his grandfather two. And he truly loved Titin, whom he wed in 1983. But 13 years and two children later, he fell in love with Mardiana, now 37, a widow.

"It was a mix of passion, love and social responsibility," he explained, sitting in a Pizza Hut restaurant. "She is the type of person who needs protection."

He feels he is a better Muslim for helping a widow without financial means. He acknowledged that most women object to polygamy, but "a woman should accept that it is part of the religious institution of marriage in Islam."

Erlangga said that in the days of Suharto, men took more than one wife but kept it hidden longer. "Now, it's in the open," he said. "Now there's no fear."

In 1983, Suharto issued a rule, still on the books, that requires civil servants wishing to take another wife to obtain permission from a superior, who must ascertain that the man has written consent from his first wife and has proved he can provide for all wives and children equally.

At the Islamic State Institute in Bandung during the Suharto era, only one among 400 lecturers acknowledged having more than one wife. Today, at least 48 do, said Nurrohman, a researcher there.