Wedding centers in Utah feeling a big 9/11 chill

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Sep 11, 2004 by Jody Genessy Deseret Morning News

From Salt Lake City to New York City, betrothed couples are saying "I don't" when it comes to wanting to tie the knot on the second Saturday of September this year.

It seems Sept. 11 isn't about to replace Feb. 14 as Valentine's Day anytime soon.

"It's kind of like Friday the 13th. People, they seem to kind of steer away from that. There is still a real negative (stigma)," said Diane Theurer, director of catering operations for two of the most popular wedding reception sites in Utah. "It's kind of more of an emotional day when people think they're not supposed to be happy. They just don't equate that day with new beginnings or being happy or celebration."

Case in point: The Joseph Smith Memorial Building and Lion House, where Theurer caters, have about 15 event rooms available for receptions, but not one bride or groom will have wedding festivities there today, the third anniversary of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks. In comparison, seven wedding events took place there the previous Saturday and another seven are scheduled for Sept. 18.

They aren't the only ones who won't be in the wedding business for the day. The Devereaux on South Temple isn't holding a wedding party. Judy Beck of Beck's Creative Decorating isn't helping any couples fancy up LDS church gymnasiums for a reception. Busath Photography won't take one snap of brides tossing bouquets or garter belts. And the list goes on.

"No weddings that day is very unusual for us. It's a Saturday in September, and the weather is very nice," Theurer said. "A lot of our staff won't be working. It'll probably seem pretty empty."

Many hearts around the United States, no doubt, will have that same empty feeling as the nation looks back and mourns the devastating losses. Which explains why a lot of couples told Suzie Clark, another wedding coordinator, "Oh no, not that day" when noticing 9/11 on the calendar while scheduling their nuptial ceremonies.

"Most people are either superstitious, or out of respect they don't want to book it then," Clark said. "Because of the date, people kind of cringe."

Salt Lake County won't conduct any weddings today after doing nine the past two years on Sept. 11, but that's because it's Saturday and the government building is closed. However, the county clerk's office has performed several more weddings on Sept. 10 than on the 11th since 2001.

"It certainly wouldn't be my choice of days," said Salt Lake County Clerk Sherrie Swenson. "It just brings back a lot of tragic thoughts."

According to the largest wedding site on the Internet, New York- based theknot.com, 66 percent fewer couples nationwide have registered on the Web site for weddings on Sept. 11 than on the surrounding Saturdays. Registrations for 2004 have dropped between 55 and 65 percent from the second Saturdays of September in 2002 and 2003.

"No one wants to see that date in print on a card or on an invitation," said JoAnn Gregoli, owner of Elegant Occasions, a Manhattan wedding planning business. "It just brings back bad memories."

Some wedding halls and services in the country offered discounts to entice couples to choose the day.

But Seven Oaks Reception Center owner Nikki Smith said she believes most people have "moved on now" and wouldn't try to schedule around what many U.S. citizens consider a day of mourning similar to Pearl Harbor Day in the mid-20th century. Her center has had the evening of Sept. 11 booked for months.

"Life goes on," Smith said. "If you didn't have celebratory-type events on days that were disasters in the past there would be so many days you couldn't celebrate. People have deaths on Christmas and Thanksgivings, but they still go on and celebrate those types of things the next year."

Sandra Gardner, owner of The Old Meeting House in Holladay, doesn't believe there is a "stigma" for Sept. 11.

"I don't think it's like a Friday the 13th," she said. "I think we just have to make sure it doesn't happen again."

And she never spoke about 9/11 -- or even thought about it -- with the couple who are having their reception at her place tonight.

"She (the bride) changed to that day," she said. "So obviously she wasn't too concerned about it."

Lori Hall, general manager of The 23rd Floor reception center in the Wells Fargo Tower, said some couples were reluctant about 9/11, "but they're trying to go forward and move past the negative stigma." And she found the perfect couple with the bright attitude for the day: Alison Cowley and her groom, Andrew Cowley, couldn't be giddier about having their official wedding on Sept. 11.

They were technically married on Nov. 4, 2002, but that was somewhat of a spur-of-the-moment event because Andrew, who's in the military, was about to be deployed to Iraq from Fort Hood, Texas. He returned to Salt Lake City on Friday from training in Texas just in time to give his bride a "real wedding." They sent out invitations, had a rehearsal dinner and will exchange rings and vows tonight.

"He went to war because of Sept. 11, so it's very appropriate -- and now he's home safe, thank God," Alison said. "When we saw Sept. 11, we thought, 'How appropriate. It will work.' We're kind of lucky it fell on a Saturday."