Rock band's lyrics floor mom of 12-year-old girl

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Dec 6, 2004 by Christina Franks Parenting magazine

Kelly Croslis of Whitehall, Pa., was floored when she heard song lyrics by Good Charlotte, the rock group her 12-year-old daughter, Brianna, idolizes: "They described a murder and the murderer's lack of remorse," Croslis says.

Now she's wondering whether she should have Brianna take down her Good Charlotte posters and forbid her to download the group's picture off the Internet.

Not necessarily, says Frank Farley, a psychologist at Temple University in Philadelphia. In fact, allowing your tween to go a little gaga over her favorite celebrity helps her forge her own identity, connect with peers and, in some cases, rebel a little -- all healthy ways for her to get the independence she craves. Still, you want to keep her obsession with less-than-wholesome celebrities in check. Some ways to do that without alienating her:

-- Brush up on the facts. Listen to lyrics, watch the videos and check out celeb bios and stories on the Internet so that you know what and whom your child is listening to.

-- Be honest. If you don't approve of the lyrics or skimpy dress of your child's favorite celebrity, say so -- but be rational and don't rant, says Farley. Tell her what you don't like, so she's clear on why you disapprove. If you like the lyrics of one of the celeb's songs, say that, too. You'll sound a bit more objective.

-- Set limits. It's OK if she wants to wear a bandanna like Britney's. But if the lyrics are too sexually suggestive, tell your child she's not allowed to listen until she's older. Just because she likes a celeb doesn't mean she's ready for mature entertainment.

-- Trust that it'll pass. Even if you wince at the star du jour, chances are she'll find someone new to love tomorrow, so don't sweat over it.

This article first appeared in Parenting magazine. The Parenting Group