Just can't stop picking the best and worst . . .

I'm like a broken record. Once I get started, I go on and on and on. . . .

I've already shared my choices for the year's best and worst movies, but I had to leave quite a few things out. So, here are the Viceroys, my own awards for other worthy -- and unworthy -- candidates (theoretical only; there are no actual trophies or cash prizes):

-- Grand Prize for the Best Performance That Won't Be Nominated for an Academy Award: English actor Andy Serkis, who provided the physical "modeling" for the most compelling character in Peter Jackson's remake of "King Kong" -- the noble beast himself. (The Oscars have a long track record of ignoring voice performers and likely won't reward a physical performer.)

-- Most Underrated Film: "Howl's Moving Castle," another captivating fantasy from Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki.

-- Most Overrated Film: Steven Spielberg's rambling, overwrought "Munich."

-- Best Sequel: Richard Dutcher's nervy, challenging "God's Army 2: States of Grace."

-- Best Prequel: "Batman Begins."

-- Worst Sequels: Nearly all of them. "Saw II" was sickening, "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" was irksome and "Cheaper by the Dozen 2" was lazy and uninspired.

-- Worst Remakes: The vapid "House of Wax" and the mean-spirited redo of "The Longest Yard."

-- Most Valuable Actor: Morgan Freeman, who finally won an Academy Award for "Million Dollar Baby," stole scenes with supporting roles in "Batman Begins," "An Unfinished Life" and "Unleashed," and narrated both "March of the Penguins" and "War of the Worlds."

-- Most Valuable Actress: Catherine Keener, who displayed her dramatic and comic talents in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin," "The Ballad of Jack and Rose," "Capote" and "The Interpreter."

-- Least Valuable Actress: Jessica Alba, who was actually less believable as a stripper in "Frank Miller's Sin City" than she was as a research scientist in "Fantastic Four."

-- Best Funny Movie: "The 40 Year-Old Virgin."

-- Best Funny Dialogue: "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang," "The Matador" and "Serenity."

-- Worst Unintentionally Funny Movie: "A Sound of Thunder," with its baboonasaurus, or whatever it was supposed to be.

-- Best Funny Guy: Vince Vaughn, a hoot in both "Wedding Crashers" and "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."

-- Best Funny Ladies: Isla Fisher in "Wedding Crashers," Jane Lynch in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin," and Sarah Silverman in both "The Aristocrats" and "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic."

-- Most Misused Funny Guy: Eugene Levy, who played straight man to a mugging Steve Martin in "Cheaper by the Dozen 2" and to Samuel L. Jackson in "The Man."

-- Most Misused Funny Lady: Bonnie Hunt, reduced to showing cleavage in "Cheaper by the Dozen 2."

-- Best Musical Number: "Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In," from "The 40 Year-Old Virgin."

-- Worst Musical Numbers: All of them in the horror-musical "Dead & Breakfast."

-- Best Unexpected Musical Talents: Reese Witherspoon's singing in "Walk the Line"; Uma Thurman's dancing in "The Producers."

-- Best Place to See a Movie in the Salt Lake Valley: Cinemark's Movies 24 at Jordan Landing. Still the most comfortable theater, and the place with the best-behaved audiences. (Century Theatre's new Union Heights multiplex deserves consideration, though it will probably quickly fall into disrepair, as has the chain's South Salt Lake location.)

-- Worst Place to See a Movie in the Salt Lake Valley: Carmike's Ritz 15 at the Hollywood Connection. The dirtiest and dingiest show house around.

E-mail: jeff@desnews.com

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