Utah Blaze's self-named goofball is ready to roll

0 Comments | Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Jan 27, 2006 | by Brad Rock Deseret Morning News

Hans Olsen is quick to admit life is strange. Not too many years ago, he was purposely mouthing off so he would get kicked out of film sessions at BYU. Now he's a senior statesman and leader of the Utah Blaze, who open their season Saturday in San Jose.

In college he and teammates covertly cut the end off a rope ladder to shorten agility drills. They later hid the entire rope so they could skip the drills completely. Now young teammates look to him for inspiration.

"No, leadership was not always my role," laughs Olsen. "I have always been kind of the joker, the guy who does goofy jumping jacks before practice and puts food on his face to get everybody to laugh."

But in the Arena Football League, part of his job is "to hopefully help some of these young guys to calm down."

Six years after he played on the defensive line at BYU, Olsen is back.

You might remember Olsen from his screwball college days, when he appeared in ESPN The Magazine, balancing a couch on his chin. He once told the team trainer as he walked away from a plate of barbecued chicken wings that he was worried. Asked why, Olsen replied, "Well, I had 10 of those wings, but I only counted eight bones."

As the Blaze count the hours until their opener, Olsen is amazed and happy his journey has landed him just a 4 1/2-hour drive from his hometown of Weiser, Idaho. Signed as a free agent by the Indianapolis Colts in 2001, he played in two games that season as a defensive tackle. He spent the 2002 season on the Colts' practice squad and made it partway through training camp the next year. In 2004 he suited up for the Indiana Firebirds of the AFL and was later picked up by the New Orleans Voodoo in the dispersal draft.

After Hurricane Katrina forced the Voodoo to shut down operations for a year, he was acquired by the Blaze.

New Orleans' loss was Utah's gain, in more ways than one. On one hand, the Blaze got a veteran player -- and a local one at that. But his personality, too, is Utah's gain. If you can conjure a subject, Olsen can produce an outspoken opinion. Take BYU, for example. He says he has been back to campus just once since college, mostly because "I just didn't feel real welcome."

He has yet to see the new Legacy Hall or indoor practice facility and has "distanced myself because of all the controversy."

That, however, doesn't keep him from pointing out that BYU should cast a wider net when looking for coaches. Notre Dame, he notes, hired Charlie Weis -- who earned four Super Bowl rings as an assistant coach -- while BYU went with its own assistant coach.

"I'm sure (Bronco Mendenhall) is a great guy and a great coach, but there's just no resume there."

Nothing personal, he says. Just wondering. Aloud.

There are more strong opinions where that came from.

On the NFL vs. the AFL: "I like everything better in the AFL. I was made for this game."

He notes that his in-between size makes him a natural for the AFL, where players go both directions. Likewise, "the best thing about the AFL is getting to punish the guy who just punished you."

In the NFL, he says, "if a defensive guy is beating the crap out of you, you don't get the chance to beat the crap out of him. In the AFL, if you get a guy that's head-slapping you, you get to turn around and head-slap him and maybe grab his mask. So it's nice to get a little revenge in this league."

Olsen also points out that professional football at any level is still a great job. He should know. He used to buck hay bales in Idaho for a living.

"When it comes down to it, I'm playing the game of football for a living and there's nothing better than that. It's special and I'm just gonna ride this out as long as I can."

But will he be riding it as a sober-minded team statesman, or as Hans Olsen, eater of chicken bones and goofball supreme?

You be the judge.

"Hey, I'll still put the couch on my chin," he says. "I'll never stop doing that. A laugh is still a laugh."

E-mail: rock@desnews.com