Host a shower without those dreaded games

Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Jun 6, 2007

It's wedding season, and that means gift-giving showers for the happy bride and groom.

If you've offered to host a shower and wonder what to do next, you might want to look through "Wedding Showers," by Jennifer Adams of Salt Lake City (Gibbs Smith, $9.95). If it's a baby shower you're doing, Adams has a companion book, "Baby Showers."

Adams also wrote "Lion House Weddings" for Deseret Book. But this time, there are no glossy photos of fabulous tables and glamorous food. It's just a small book of fairly sensible advice and recipes.

Since showers are usually attended by women, they usually have more feminine touches than say, a Super Bowl chow fest. Hostesses might use the occasion to go all-out with flowers, favors and fussy food. And that fact isn't lost on Adams, who writes, "Presentation can be nine-tenths of the success of a dish. The value of a beautiful garnish can't be overstated."

But on the flip side, she writes, "There's a danger of getting so caught up in the details that if something goes wrong or differently than planned, you think the whole event is ruined. Keep things in perspective and allow yourself to deal with the changes."

Her No. 1 recommendation about shower games is to avoid them. It's true that a lot of people don't enjoy silly shower games. However, in my own experience (which, I'll admit, is probably not as vast as other showergoers), guests enjoy an activity that sparks a conversation or ties everyone together. So often you end up at an "open house" shower where there are way more guests than seats, and one gets that awkward "just drop off your gift and leave" feeling.

What are some alternatives to games? I attended a shower where we made scrapbook pages for the new mom. We had fun getting creative and admiring the photos of the newborn. And it was a much- appreciated gift -- many moms are so busy they don't get around to organizing photos until the kids are in kindergarten.

I've also hosted and attended old-fashioned quilting bees. The bride got a beautiful quilt, and there was lots of conversation and laughter as everyone got involved.

Tupperware or Pampered Chef parties have been around a while. At those I attended, guests simply gave money so the bride could buy company products. The host didn't have to stress about entertainment, although the events had a commercial feel to them.

A couple of months ago, my sister hosted a recipe shower for my new daughter-in-law, Stephanie, at the Rhodes demonstration kitchens in Murray. There was a lot of room for the 20-plus guests, who learned how to make fancy rolls, bread sticks and other goodies from (of course) Rhodes dough. For gifts, we all brought a favorite recipe and the pantry ingredients to make it, so Stephanie could stock both her pantry and recipe file.

Rhodes even supplied some of the refreshments, things like bacon- and-cheese pull-aparts, mango salsa squares and cinnamon rolls, made with -- you guessed it -- Rhodes dough. Everyone got recipe cards and a bag of dough to take home. Yes, there was the "commercial" factor, but nobody had to buy anything. I wouldn't advise it if your guest list is loaded with low-carb dieters. But, for around $3 per guest, it's a low-stress option for shower hosts.

E-mail: vphillips@desnews.com