Turning co-worker confrontation into collaboration

It all started with a text message better left unsent. An employee told her manager that a co-worker was sending her inappropriate text messages. The manager read the messages and brought in human resources to investigate.

"We decided we would have to look into that when she told us what the text messages were," said Dawn Davidson Drantch, director of employee relations and internal counsel for the Alcott Group in Farmingdale.

The Alcott Group, an outsourcing company which handles benefits and human resources for other firms, sent a staffer to speak with the woman and others who saw the messages. Then they spoke with the man who wrote them.

"The guy denied everything until they were able to tell him that we had the text messages. Then he backtracked a little bit," Drantch said. "Ultimately, he was fired."

While human resources departments handle a variety of situations, few are as delicate as handling interpersonal conflicts. HR staffers collect evidence and manage disagreements and complaints.

Drantch, whose firm serves as the HR department for about 350 companies, is a veteran at handling corporate conflict.

"Our HR people talk to both sides and determine whether any investigation has to be done," Drantch said. "If you get in there in the beginning, hear her side and his side, so to speak, a lot of times you're just clearing up misunderstandings."

While complaints sometimes become law suits, the HR department finds alternate solutions including peacemaking, rebukes, apologies and dismissal. But communication is key to resolving and even preventing almost all conflicts.

"It's almost like marriage counseling," Drantch said. "You make one side understand the needs of the other side. Most of the time, one side doesn't see where the other side is coming from."

Kevin L. McCrudden, president of Kings Park-based Motivate America, a management, sales-training and motivation consulting firm, said clear communication reduces conflict.

"It's about communicating on a daily basis," McCrudden said. "Nobody should ever be surprised by something that occurs."

He said having clear expectations also prevents conflicts, while uncertainty creates confusion. "If people are uncertain of their role, responsibility, performance metrics, that creates the environment for conflict," McCrudden said.

Conflicts often begin as a competition in which each person wants to prevail, but resolution doesn't necessarily mean becoming a referee. "Sometimes somebody is right. Sometimes it's truly seeing the world through different glasses," Drantch said. "You have to come to a happy medium."

Drantch said listening can go a long way toward defusing a situation and averting frustration. "Most employees get angry when they feel a complaint they made or something they're concerned about has not been addressed," she said. "We stress to the managers to bring closure to whatever the conflict is. That way an employee is not as distressed."

Drantch also said companies can train managers in conflict resolution through lectures, role playing and questions. Even methods that reduce stress, however nontraditional, are helpful.

People who don't have any outlets for energy such as the gym, a hobby or a walk may explode or feel pressure growing on the job. "If you're not releasing some energy in a hobby or exercise, that negative energy is building and it will come out somewhere," he said.

Harry Martinian, director of programs for Deer Park-based Center for Leadership Performance, which promotes transcendental meditation in the workplace, said many conflicts are caused by stress, and easing tension can avert a blow-up.

"Decreasing stress and anxiety goes a long way," Martinian said. "If the individual is less stressed there's the basis for a more conducive work environment."

McCrudden said people who are unable to do their job or overwhelmed by pressure may lash out at others. "Some people are great under pressure. Some people are not," he said. "Some people delay, cram things and come through. Other people fold under pressure."

Copyright 2008 Dolan Media Newswires
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