Costs reduced for infant burials/ Funeral homes work with family's

0 Comments | Gazette, The (Colorado Springs), Jan 14, 2001 | by The Gazette

Kate Mackey's daughter Elsa died from SIDS in June 1995. Amid the grief, she and her husband found themselves planning a funeral they couldn't afford.

"We spent all our money on welcoming the baby and we didn't have anything left to bury her," said Mackey, now the chairperson of the board for the Colorado SIDS Program.

Then a nearby funeral home gave the family a discount for services.

It's not uncommon for families who unexpectedly lose a child to struggle to scrape together money for a funeral.

When an infant dies, most funeral homes' charges "start at zero and go up to maybe a fourth of what they would usually charge," said John Horan, a member of the Colorado Funeral Directors Association. But there are still costs that sometimes aren't covered, such as cemetery headstones.

Although it's hard, people need to be clear about their circumstances when talking to funeral homes, Horan said.

"If people are forthright, it gives funeral directors the best opportunity to try to meet their needs and stay within their budget," he said.

Many families, mourning the loss of young and old, can't afford the national average funeral that costs about $5,000, a figure that doesn't encompass the bill for burials, which can add another $1,000 to $2,500, he said.

Often funeral homes make accommodations on a case-by-case basis, said Horan, president of Horan & McConaty Funeral Service/Cremation in Denver.

Milton Steinkruger, the owner of Evergreen Funeral Home and Blunt Mortuary, says his funeral homes "make concessions necessary when someone is virtually penniless." He says he does it for one reason: compassion.

Many other funeral homes do the same, although it's not something that's advertised, he said.

"It gets done and nobody ever knows it," he said.

Ecumenical Social Ministries, a nonprofit group that provides emergency services such as food, clothing and rental assistance, often recommends Cappadona's Alternative Funeral and Cremation Service in Colorado Springs for clients in need of an inexpensive alternative.

Cappadona's provided services for Lindsay Dearinger, who died of SIDS just before Christmas. A memorial fund has been opened at Ent Federal Credit Union to help Lindsay's family pay for a headstone. Contributions may be sent to: The Lindsay Dearinger Fund, No. 268414; Ent Federal Credit Union; P.O. Box 15819; Colorado Springs CO; 80935- 5819

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome - Q&A

What is SIDS?

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the "sudden death of an infant under one year of age which remains unexplained after a thorough case investigation, including performance of a complete autopsy, examination of the death scene, and review of the clinical history," according to the National SIDS Resource Center.

What can one do to reduce the risk of SIDS?

Experts stress that the following advice is risk reduction, not prevention. Every recommendation can be followed, and a child can still die from SIDS.

Maternal risk factors include cigarette smoking during pregnancy; maternal age less than 20 years; poor prenatal care; low weight gain; anemia; use of illegal drugs; and history of sexually transmitted disease or urinary tract infections.

After a baby is born, the Colorado SIDS Program recommends parents or caregivers put the baby on his or her back to sleep; don't put anything else in the crib with the baby - no toys, pillows, big blankets; don't smoke around the baby; breast feed if possible.

For more information:

The nonprofit Colorado SIDS Program can refer families to local support groups and resources, as well as offer advice to friends of families about how to best give support to someone who has lost a child. The program's help is free and can be reached at 888-285-7437 or on the web at www.coloradosids.org.

In Colorado Springs, contact Compassionate Friends Child Loss Support Group, which offers support for parents who have lost their children, at 591-7231.

The National SIDS Resource Center can be reached at 703-821-8955 or www.circsol.com/SIDS

The SIDS Alliance can be reached at 1-800-221-7437

or on the web at: sidsalliance.org

The SIDS Network website is: sids-network.org

- Sources: The National SIDS Resource Center; The Colorado SIDS Program.