Right, and Jeff Spicoli can be dean of students

0 Comments | Gazette, The (Colorado Springs), Jul 10, 2001 | by Jim Bainbridge

England's Plymouth University and Edith Cowan University in Western Australia are both set to launch a Bachelor of Science course in Surf Science and Technology. Yes, Surfing 101. It will involve a small amount of surfing, but Plymouth administrator Elizabeth Hatton insists "it is a fairly rigorous degree" with applicants requiring a solid science and math background for studies of technology, meteorology, ecology, business principles, surfboard making and event management.

A CHANCE TO FIND THE GUTTER EITHER WAY: "AMF Bowling, the world's largest operator of bowling alleys, filed for bankruptcy protection," says comedy writer Jerry Perisho. "They wanted to file for the standard Chapter 11 protection, but instead ended up with the more difficult Chapter 7-10 split."

AHHH, IRONY: Bob Hille of The Sporting News hears that Cal Ripken is retiring at season's end and writes "you should be sure to go see him play - even if you have to call in sick."

NOT EXACTLY FLUSH WITH SUCCESS: "Ohio Stadium, home of the Buckeyes, is adding 277 bathroom fixtures," writes Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune. "Guess they needed more places to put the game plan for Michigan."

AND THEN HE WAS PINCHED BY THE AUTHORITIES: Peruvian soccer player Sergio Ibarra has been given a six-month ban because Ibarra - upset over a penalty kick ruling - repeatedly pinched the referee.

WHY HER: The Jacksonville Suns staged mini-bat night June 29. The guest of honor was former Olympic skater Tonya Harding, implicated in the attack on Nancy Kerrigan with a similar-looking blunt instrument, and the promotion was sponsored by Dave Valentine's Bail Bonds.

ONE OF THE VETERANS HAS TO ACCOMPANY THEM TO THE POOL: Comic Alan Ray told the San Francisco Chronicle he knows the reason NBA teams are drafting high-school players: "At many hotels on the road, kids stay free."

A GRISLY DISCOVERY: "The (NBA) Grizzlies are so bad," writes Brian Schmitz of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, "that already wise guys are referring to their new home in Memphis as Disgraceland."

AND FINALLY: Former Colorado State star Becky Hammon says her WNBA New York Liberty teammate Crystal Robinson is "like a car. She's either clutch or automatic."

- Culled from the international news wires, cyberspace and the corner coffee shop