High school nicknames run from silly to bizarre

0 Comments | Gazette, The (Colorado Springs), Jun 3, 2003 | by JIM BAINBRIDGE

News that the Coahoma Bulldogettes had lost in the final of the Texas state 2A softball tournament led, with the inevitably of nightfall, to a search for equally odd - or just plain goofy - high school nicknames. You know, like the Alamosa Mean Moose or the Fort Collins Lambkins.

A list at BizzareNews.com offered up the Mesquite Skeeters (Mesquite, Texas) and Dunn Earwigs (Dunn, Calif.) - named for the most prolific local insects - and the Freeport Pretzels, so named because pretzel manufacturing is one of the main businesses in Freeport, Ill. Halycon. com likes Montana's Belfry Bats, the Moorhead Spuds (Moorhead, Minn.) and Hickham Kewpies (Columbia, Mo.).

But none of these worthy entries made the High School Football magazine Top 16 list, their attempt to fix on the ultimate in silly. This list is composed of the Poca Dots (Poca, W. Va. and Poca, Wis.), Blooming Prairie Awesome Blossoms (Blooming Prairie, Minn.), Bad Axe Hatchets (Bad Axe, Mich.), Cairo Syrupmakers (Cairo, Ga.), Hollister Haybalers (Hollister, Calif.), Frankfort Hot Dogs (Frankfort, Ind.), Pleasant Hill Billies (Pleasant Hill, Ore.), Brown Scoopers (Brown High, Sturgis, S.D.), Sleepy Hollow Headless Horsemen (Sleepy Hollow High, North Tarrytown, N.Y.), Gabbs Tarantulas (Gabbs, Nev.), Fair Lawn Cutters (Fair Lawn, N.J.), Marion Swamp Foxes (Marion, S.C.) Teutopolis Wooden Shoes (Teutopolis, Ill.), Lincoln Abes (Lincoln High, Tacoma Wash.), Yuma Criminals (Yuma, Ariz.) and the Centralia Orphans (Centralia, Ill.), where they call the girls teams the Orphan Annies.

Whatever happened to a 'kiss for luck': They have this thing called the "Kiss Cam" at Cincinnati's Great America Ballpark and during a May 7 Reds game it picked up a guy name David Horton smooching with his girlfriend. A nice moment, right? Well, it was until Horton's parole officer looked up at the giant scoreboard and saw the on-the-lam Horton's face. The parole officer enlisted a policeman and the two of them tracked down and arrested the alleged cocaine trafficker. "Out of all the coincidences, we had 20- or 30- thousand people at the ballpark and who do they put on the 'Kiss Cam'? And then, who is there but his parole officer? " Richard Goldberg, Horton's attorney, told the Associated Press.

Well, you might want to investigate the location of your checkbook: Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Curt Schilling is amused that Major League Baseball is investigating his assault on a $5,000 QuesTec camera at Bank One Ballpark. Schilling feels the umpire- monitoring system has prompted some men in blue to tighten their strike zone, so he busted it up in front of thousands of witnesses. "I'm still trying to find out why there's an investigation," Schilling said. "I hit the camera with a bat. The investigation is over after that."

Quien es mas frio? "John Henry Williams goes 0 for 7, with five strikeouts, and is released by the Schaumburg Flyers," says Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. "Cast your vote now: Ted or John Henry - who's colder? "

Don't take me out to this ballgame: There is a new promotional craze in the minor leagues - Whoopee Cushion Night - with the first 2,000 lucky youngsters who attend July games in Bowie, Md.; Lakewood, N.J., and Trenton, N.J. getting a free whoopee cushion. Best of all, says ESPN.com's Jayson Stark, "It's all sponsored by B &M Baked Beans."

An A's for effort: This is a big week for the 900 members of the Philadelphia Athletics Historical Society as the Oakland A's come to town for the first time since the franchise moved away 49 years ago. The Phillies ball girls will wear Philadelphia A's uniforms. There will be A's trivia on the scoreboard, memorabilia displayed on the concourse and Philadelphia A's souvenirs on sale. "People still re- enact the Civil War and Robert E. Lee has been dead a long time," Historical Society President David Jordan told the Philadelphia Business Journal.

And finally: Eager to make a strong showing in the upcoming World Cup, South Africa's rugby players have agreed to give up sex, alcohol, mobile phones - and pingpong.

Culled from the international news wires, cyberspace and the corner coffee shop.