Do earplugs come with these homes? [Corrected 08/07/03]

Gazette, The (Colorado Springs), Aug 5, 2003 by RICH TOSCHES

If a development company has its way, the village of Colorado Springs (proud motto - "Developers: Having Their Way With Us For More Than A Century") is about to get yet another lovely subdivision.

The proposal, which the village planning commission will review Thursday, calls for 179 houses on Troy Hill Road, near the intersection of Powers Boulevard and Airport Road. The homes would sit about 3,000 feet from the end of runway 12 at the Colorado Springs Airport.

At this point some of you might be asking: "Our airport has 12 runways? " Although most of you are probably asking: "We have an airport? "

Yes, we have an airport. (Drive east and turn left at the antelope.)

And it has three oddly numbered runways.

Runway 12, near where the subdivision is planned, is used mostly by the Air Force and Air National Guard, based at adjoining Peterson Air Force Base.

It is most commonly used by the C-130 cargo plane, which has a 132- foot wingspan, can carry 9,680 gallons of fuel and is powered by four 4,508-horsepower turboprop engines.

Our village airport officials think the development is a lousy idea. From David Bird, the airport's assistant director of aviation: "Pilots have calculated that C-130s would be flying over those new homes at an altitude of about 250 feet."

How close is that?

"You'd be able to see the Ray-Ban logo on the aviator glasses," Bird said.

The noise level of a C-130 at that altitude is between 95 and 110 decibels, Bird said. Experts say the danger zone - the range at which permanent hearing loss begins - is 85 or 90 decibels.

(Footnote: The sound of the loudest motorcycle is between 95 and 120 decibels. The sound of multimillionaire evangelist Benny Hinn begging for more money is between 500 and 800 decibels.)

And, of course, airplanes crash. The vast majority of crashes occur during landings and takeoffs.

Despite all that, Zephyr Development is plowing ahead with its plan. It will ask the village planning commission Thursday to change the zoning on the 34-acre parcel from commercial to residential. The 179 homes would be classified as lowcost housing, with homes starting at $125,000.

And what about those C-130s thundering just above the rooftops, often at night?

Well, here's Zephyr Development's response, taken directly from the proposal:

"The (developer) has agreed to provide air conditioning in all of the homes to reduce the need for windows open at night when there is the greatest concern for noise. Also, double-pane windows will be standard features in all dwellings."

(Word on the street has it that if, somehow, the home buyers can still hear the 18,000-horsepower planes 250 feet above their houses, the developer will give each of them, absolutely free, a South American Howler monkey.)

Speaking of the developer, here's an interesting tidbit: One of Zephyr Development owners is Steve Shuttleworth.

And the chairman of the planning commission that will approve or reject the development plan is . . . drumroll, please . . . Steve Shuttleworth.

Our village can be funny like that.

Technically, Shuttleworth will recuse himself from the Troy Hill Development debate so there is no (ahem, ahem) appearance of a conflict of interest.

And, of course, so he doesn't have to run from microphone to microphone, arguing with himself.

(Only the most cynical of you would think the rest of the planning commission members will be influenced in any way in this decision involving their friend.)

As a final point, if Bleeding Eardrum Acres is approved, the homeowners can use the C-130s' Ground Proximity Extraction System, described this way in the book "All The World's Aircraft":

"The system involves making a flypast 4 to 5 feet above the ground at 150 mph, with the rear loading ramp open. The aircraft trails a hook attached to the cargo, which engages a steel cable on the ground. The cargo is extracted and brought to a stop on the ground in about 100 feet."

So even if he oversleeps, you should be able to get your cargo (little Billy) to school on time.

Just make sure his school has installed the steel cable on the ground or he'll slide all the way to Kansas.

Rich Tosches' column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. He can be reached at 636-0226 or tosches@gazette.com