What's so hard about a little note to say 'thank you'?

Dear Mary Mitchell: Thank you. Thank you.

She's author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette." And she devoted 14 pages of her book to the thank you note and other correspondence niceties.

She says: "Not one of the communications marvels that enrich and bedevil modern society can replace a personal letter... a letter can have special powers. It can be more intimate and touching than even a conversation. It can be more personal than a telephone call." And e-mail. Ha.

Why am I mentioning this? Because it is March. Have you received your thank-you note for those holiday gifts you sent to friends and relatives cross country?

I didn't think so. Neither have I.

Everyone seems to have a similar story: Newlyweds who don't bother to acknowledge wedding gifts. House guests who don't write later.

I know it's not earth shattering, like global warming or feeding the poor. But thank you notes can be a tiny expression of our humanity. I know that is a tall order for a piece of paper with ink on it. But it works.

Now, I know we don't give gifts to receive such accolades. But doesn't it denote a lack of regard for the other person's efforts to forgo the card? And let's face it, it's uncouth.

My mom, every summer, spends hours over the hot stove making homemade jams and jellies and pickles. She sends them off to some people I won't mention here because I don't like to point fingers. But weeks later, she finally calls my siblings to see if the packages arrived.

When I was a kid, my grandparents sent me a Nancy Drew book every month.

We lived out in the sticks of Nevada without book stores. Mom insisted I write a thank you letter in return.

And after a while it was sort of fun.

When my daughter was a kid, I, too, made her write thank you notes. The grandparents cherished them.

So now that she is grown and I have grandkids, do I get notes?

You guessed it. No way. When that happens, they say they have been too busy.

A friend says she found an answer for that same problem. She refused to send a Christmas gift to her inconsiderate kids this year.

Shortly after Christmas she got a phone call from her son saying he hadn't received her gifts. She told him she had been too busy.

She thinks he got the point. But I wonder.

And besides, isn't she aiding and abetting the downfall of good manners for a big plate of revenge?

Just for fun, I timed how long it takes to write a thank you note. If you have the cards there, and the stamps, it takes exactly a minute. If a kid is writing it, it will maybe take five minutes.

I have a solution. Amnesty. Write a thank you note to all those people you have forgotten to thank.

You can even do it while you are watching TV or your kid's soccer game.

No note cards? Write it on paper.

I hope my brother reads this.

Remember that handmade crazy-quilt pillow I made you for Christmas?

As I ponder this, I cringe in mortification. I confess. I forgot to write one to him.

Dear Mike: "I've been so busy I haven't had a second to write to thank you. But I love those handcrafted nutcracker soldiers you made. I really did.

TO OUR READERS: Submit your personal essay of roughly 500 words. E-mail bill.reed@gazette.com with "That's Life" in the subject line. Or mail to: Attn: Bill Reed, That's Life, The Gazette, 30 S. Prospect St., Colorado Springs 80903. You will receive a response only if your essay is chosen for publication.

Copyright 2007
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.